G'Day!

So next month (24th Dec to be precise) sees the launch of Lucian Barnes 8th book in only 2 Years! Now, this cat was one of the Drunken Beardsmen earliest book reviews for good reason, we here at the Hallowed Hall of Beards LOVE somethin' new, something Good and with Lucian's Desolace Series, that is exactly what we got.

Today see's the reveal of Lucian's highly anticipated(and incredibly underrated) 6th entry into the world of Desolace, that fucked up world of draness, sex, magic and heroism. so cast yon eye's below to get the skinny on what you've been missing out on!!
Synopsis


In his insatiable lust for power and world domination, the Black Knight has deployed an entire army of mechanical monstrosities to eradicate any who stand in his way. Despite his best efforts to exterminate Edward the White and his friends, they continue to be a thorn in his side. The Black Knight thinks he has the upper hand when the small band of his adversaries seemingly flee to the south in order to escape the wrath of his regiment of machines, but somehow they keep managing to elude him. Little does he know that Edward has an agenda of his own.

Employing the use of his new servant—who although younger than the Black Knight's former slave, is essentially a carbon copy of the headhunting serial killer—the demonic entity tracks the troublesome party of humans. Using George as his scout, he witnesses the growth of Edward's group as they gain allies on their trek southward. When he begins to figure out what the group is up to, the Black Knight decides to take matters into his own hands.

One thing is certain: failure is not an option. Will the Black Knight succeed to claim what he feels is his rightful seat upon a dais at the Throne of the Gods? Or will Edward and his friends thwart the attempt yet again?

"Who's this Lucian Barnes?" I hear you say... Well, he first came onto the scene in 2012 with the first Desolace novel, but why mess the man himself's words? Here is what Lucian Barnes has to say on Lucian Barnes...

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I spent most of my youth in rural Ohio and began writing stories at an early age. Many of these early attempts at story-telling were inspired by mysteries, such as those found in the old Hardy Boys books and the cartoon antics of Scooby Doo. As I entered my teenage years I began to drift away from writing stories, instead picking up my pencil to compose lyrics for heavy metal songs because my new dream was to become a musician. That vision remained hopeful for many years after my high school graduation, but like most dreams of this nature it died out as I became older.

After working several menial jobs through the years that followed, my thoughts again began to turn toward writing books. Inspired by my favorite author, Stephen King, I took an online creative writing course and slowly began to develop my skills. In late 2010 I was given a violent shove, both by the job market (which was horrible to say the least, and still is) and by the persistent encouragement of close friends, to pick up my pen and begin writing again.

In early 2012, I gave birth (that's almost what it felt like) to my very first published book, Desolace. Finally having a completed novel in my hand was the best feeling in the world for me, giving me a sense of accomplishment I had waited a lifetime for. Since then it has gotten easier for me with each book I have published. Since the initial release of Desolace, I have published four more novels in the series. My latest work is a futuristic horror book titled, EL-204.

Now, We recently reviewed EL-204 as it was put to me by Lucian that I should...and yes, while I MAY be a Lemming that will do MOST of what is asked of him, I really did enjoy the book, which led me to the Desolace series. It is definitely a good case study in the evolution of a writer, you can see him hit his stride and really find his flavour over the first 2-3 books, and while his writing mantra may not be to every-bodies taste, he is a good damn writer that can keep this Drunk Uncle interested!

So why don't you give this up and coming author a go!

Find Lucian Here: Amazon
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So, we are about half way through Movemeber at the moment, and for the last couple years, it has given men the excuse to let their facial hair run a little free while bringing awareness for  a terrible disease. But what if I told you that it doesn’t have to stop at November?  What if it didn’t have to stop at a Mo? What if you could tell your boss or partner proudly, ‘NO! I'm growing it for the greater  good!’? Ladies and Lads, I bring to you DECEMBEARD!!!

If ever there was a cause to throw your whiskers behind, this is it. For the last three years, men have been putting the razor down and letting their glorious beards grow for the sake of Bowel Cancer, and nowhere near enough exposure to this cause has been given!




So to give a little history, way back in 2011 a Brit by the name of Chris Evans declared that he was going to do Decembeard as he had missed out on Movember. The Late Alison Selfe reached out and asked him to let the beard grow for Beating Bowel Cancer, an issue that had personal history with Chris, having lost his father to the illness. Over the last three years, the Decembeard Campaign has raised just over £250,000 for the Beating Bowel Cancer Charity and has spread from the UK into Canada, New Zealand and Ireland and Australia using the hashtag #RealMenGrowBeards & #Decembeard. 

This year they have decide to up the ante by attempting to raise a quarter million dollars, roughly equalling what they have raised in total thus far.


Bowel Cancer is a horrible disease that is the second biggest cause of all cancer related deaths, so if you are going to support a cause, this is one you can really get behind. So go forth my brethren, put the razor down, let the whiskers grow, scream at the top of your lungs "THE RUG IS STAYING!" and you never know, you may even come to love the beard, keep the beard, stroke the beard!

Here’s Some Ammo to help convince the doubters of Beards:

  •  A beard protects the face from harmful chemicals, and pollution in the air, which will cause cell damage, and increase wrinkling and bad skin. So keeping a beard protects your skin from the elements, reduces wrinkles, ageing, and bad skin as well as skin cancer!
  •  The beard covers the skin, which protects the sebaceous glands from being infected by acne vulgaris bacteria, thus preventing acne/spots/pimples!
  •  A beard is an inbuilt insulator, trapping heat in the winter, keeping you warm and in the summer? Just wet that bad boy down and instant cool!
  •  Most of the respiratory problems are prevented by keeping beard, like the hairs in your nose, a beard acts as a filter to dust, pollens and other pollutants that cause allergies, asthma and other respiratory problems!
  • Research says the longer and thicker the beard the wiser the person is supposed to be. This stems from antiquity in which it was common for Philosophers to have beards. As the old saying goes though ‘A beard does not a philosopher make’
  • What is the total time spent in shaving by a man in his whole lifetime? Dr. Herbert Mescon from Boston University did research to give an answer to this question. Dr. Mescon calculated that if a teenager begin shaving at the age of 15, then in his 55 or so years of shaving, he is likely to spend about 3350 hours (which are equivalent to about 139 full days) at this task in his lifetime. That is an incredible amount of time which literally goes down the drain. You can add to it thousands of dollars one spends during his lifetime on products for shaving (razors, shaving gels, after-shave lotions etc).

     




So why don't you throw your support behind this great cause. Grow a beard to show you solidarity or even better, head over to the national sites where you can find all the relevant information on how to help.

Find Decembeard Here: UK                     Website  Twtter
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                                       New Zealand      Website  Twitter
                                       Australia             Website  Twitter

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Just woke up to probably the saddest news I have heard in a long, long time. Today saw the passing of not only one of funniest and most talented men in show business, but also one that I idolized growing up. Not since the passing of John Lee Hooker has the passing of a celebrity left me in shock, or feeling so hollow as this. Fuck...

This isn't really going to be an informative article, you can find about a hundred online that chronicle his ups and downs, his battle with addiction, depression, etc. You will find many that will laud his genius, his Oscar nominations and his sole Oscar win for Good Will Hunting. I just feel the need to get out the swirling thoughts and emotions that this tragic event has left me with.

Robin Williams was a man that, as a youngen, really got me into the idea of comedy, and showed me that 'old folk movies' could be funny. Good Morning Vietnam was the first movie that made me laugh that wasn't an animated film. I was too young to pick up the more serious tone of the film, but that DJ man....he was cool!      
However, it was his family movies that made me fall in love with him as a kid. Hook was literally my first exposure to Peter Pan and I still remember going outside after it and trying to launch off the tree out back, thinking that if only I had a happy enough thought I could also go to Never land and have a Bangarang time! The sprained wrist soon showed me the error of my ways, but the day I sat down with my own kids to watch it was an especially poignant moment. Along came Fern Gully not long after, and although the Green Propaganda was wasted on me entirely, Batty was the best thing about it, and I sang the song below so much, that 14 years later, I could STILL sing it almost word for word!   
From Flubber, to Mrs Doubtfire, Bicentennial Man, Aladdin, Night at the Museum, JUMANJI! This man had that so so many movies that I watched as a kid, that I have now, years later, have sat down ad watched with my own kids. Another generation of people who are growing up with the Genius of Robin Williams. We have spent many a night have Williams Marathons, and the best thing is, as they get older, they won't outgrow him! From his more mature comedies like Patch Adams, or The Birdcage, Good Morning Vietnam or his STAND - UP!  
A lot is made of this man's comedic genius, but he could seriously act! When I first saw The Fisher King as a child, I kept waiting for the funny, but by the end, I was transfixed by his performance and as I got older, my respect for his dramatic performances only grew. Robin Williams could do anything, could fall so deeply into any role he took and was always the highlight, the centre of any film he appeared in. Even if he wasn't a lead character and I look forward to watching Dead Poets Society, One Hour Photo, Good Will Hunting and Insomnia with my kids as they get older. The passing of Robin Williams will forever leave a hole in the realm of cinema, he was funny, could be serious, and he can never be replaced. With the passing of Harold Ramis earlier this year, my childhood is slowly, irrevocably slipping away and it sucks. Just sucks. Depression is a sad and terrible disease, and when it takes anyone away, it is a sobering thing.

The man of a thousand voices and a thousand moods has been taken from us, and while it's sad that never again will the beauty of Robin Williams be seen again(aside from Night of the Museum 3), I thank the powers that be that he leaves behind a body of work that will live on forever and that body of work will inspire generations. I think I am going to bust out the collection today and just sink into the genius that is Robin Williams witha box of tissues and glass of scotch or 3.  RIP Robin Williams, This Drunken Beardsman Salutes you!   
 
 
So earlier this year, around April, a study done at the University of NSW was published declaring that the hammer was about to fall on the humble, mighty Beard! The basic idea of this study was that the slow increase, then explosion of beards upon the culture(thanks, hipsters) is reaching a apex, which will see the clean shaven man becoming more desirable once more. This is a pattern that has happened before, and will no doubt happen again(thinking the 70's here), my question is...is that such a bad thing?

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Exhibit A: The Hipster
The reason for this incredible explosion of facial haired goodness is the result of the dreaded Hipster! In their inane quest to be the cutting edge of cool and Douchey, they latched onto Beards with a speed and veracity that is mind boggling. Hell, it inspired Beard TRANSPLANTS! That's right folks, for the the low, low price of $3000 USD you can have the patchy, pre-pubescent scrag you have been ashamed of filled in to rock a growing beard or why splurge and for the super bargain basement rate of around $7000 you can have a FULL, luxurious beard transplanted to your face from...elsewhere on your body. How much you bet that more that a few ass hair ends up on these sad sad men's faces? Ha Ha!

But back to the point dear reader, in a world where the mighty beard has been invaded by skinny jean wearing, record listening, shitty tattoo sporting douche bags who think beard gardens are the greatest things to happen to beards since...well themselves...  
 
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Exhibit B: The Beard Garden! This is no Joke People! This is ACTUALLY A THING!
So, this study claims that this is an example of Darwin's Evolutionary theory in practice, as Peak Beard is reached, the clean shaven man has more of a chance to attract a partner as they stand out more. Now, while I may agree in the principle of the study, and god knows, the sooner Hipsters and the like back the fuck off and move on to some other fad they reckon will become big (I'm hoping for Castration, come on castration!), the sooner a True bearded man can go about his life in peace! 

The problem I Do have with this study however is that is doesn't give women enough credit. Seriously, a douche is a douche is a douche, and the type of person who are attracted to Yuppies(Hipsters), will ALWAYS be attracted to Yuppies! a bit a manly beard won't change that. I mean there is many different types of beards, and personally I have noticed, that men(or ladies) that are truly meant to have a beard, have a masculinity and way of carrying themselves that cannot be faked with transplants or follow the crowd because at the end of the day, a sheep's wool will never be mistaken for a Lion's Mane! 

So, dear reader...what do YOU think? Sound off with the comments and let us know! - Drunkle Dan
 
 
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In recent times there's been a little confusion on the difference between Whiskey and Whisky. Is it the distillation process? The taste? The colour? The ingredients?? The answer..... Location, Location, Location!

Back in the day, around 1870, much of the Scotch whisky was a very low quality so the Irish decided that, to differenciate their exports from their Scottish counterparts, they would make a crucial change by adding the 'e' in their whiskey. The change had stuck, and since then, the Irish and Americans spell it 'whiskey' (with a few exceptions like Maker's Mark). While the rest of the world spell it 'whisky'.